29 October 2005

iMonkeys


09 September 2005

Gumbo Jumbo

Mmmmm Friday.

Technically I'm still working even though I'm at home & "relaxed". Joe called in crook today which sucked coz I wanted to see him before he left us & with Anne unable to find anyone to replace him, I offered to monitor the news from the comfort of my (tiny) home. So currently I'm on tragedy alert, monitoring http://news.bbc.co.uk/ etc. every half-hour or so till 3am when the (fucking) cricket finishes & I give the Master Control fellas a call so they can take over the task.

A phrase has been coming up at work a lot this week, regarding the Hurricane Katrina situation, which has caught my ear: "Toxic Gumbo". It's such an evocative little term but sounds a bit like a punk/industrial Zydeco band-name. I laughed when I first heard it, then felt guilty about all those people who've lost everything & don't seem to be getting much help from their govt. As I always say "I'm not political" (that and "Go get 'em goober") but it seems crazy for a country to be spending so much of their money killing people in another country when their own people need help.

It's kinda weird to be back monitoring the overnight news. I spent two years waiting for something catastrophic to happen somewhere in the world to justify my employment & the only time anything major did happen it was outside of my work hours. Not that I ever hoped for disaster but there did seem to be a few major world leaders the world could do without, which would have given me reason to call the boss.

The closest I ever came to having something important to report was the Boxing Day Tsunami which happened a few hours after I'd gone home, I spent days afterwards trying to find out the precise time it occurred thinking I may have missed the year's most crucial news event. Thankfully in my current position I'm only looking at events from the past so I don't have that feeling of impending doom hanging over my desk. I'm also get half a day off for my good deed so I have to decide whether I wanna sleep in or leave early & catch a movie or go out on the piss.

Finally a good group email has gone around the office. It features a picture of Sam, the world's ugliest dog. Go have a look at the precious little critter & find out about him & his owner at http://samugliestdog.typepad.com/blog/. By the looks of it he has extra claws growing up his leg/s.

Gonna sign off now but I'll keep watching the skis...er...skies....er....news.


10 August 2005

crankypants

Trying to update a website you didn't design must be one of life's biggest frustrations. I have got a Mambo CMS site I've been asked to update. One thing after another has made this project blow out completely. Adding content (well, more than a few sentences) freezes my browser and the editor. And I have absolutely no ability to change the editor or the system. And that is just the latest problem.
Last week I found out that the editor won't accept css. After I had spent about 20 hours creating a css template (a subtemplate really) so I can display their library.
And we got told that if we want to upgrade to the latest version of Mambo it would cost the same amount as installing a whole new site. I know that it doesn't take that long.
I am so cranky. I have such a giant well of patience. It has run out. The worst part is that I actually really enjoy doing all this, it's just that I haven't been involved from the start and haven't been involved in the decision making process that led to the site being created. Last night I could have thrown the monitor across the room.
Whaddaya do? Ideas?


thought du jour

You can pick your friends
But you can't pick your nose if lose your hands in a farm accident
So pick friends who'll pick your nose for you.


02 August 2005

doctor doctor gimme the news

Today is day two of my extended absence from work. I'm still feeling lousy but oddly fascinated by what's coming out of my nose. I went & loaded up with flu-stuffs yesterday & today and bought tissues for the first time in years having been a hankie user since college. I made the switch not only because I'd run out of hankies & wasn't prepared to trudge downstairs & do a load of washing but because once again I'd reached for my hankie to be greeted with a handful of strangely coloured, oddly fascinating mucus.

Made chicken soup for dinner last night & had the leftovers tonight. Not sure if ice cream & custard are effective flu busters but were mmm good.

Have had an idea for a documentary but because of my fear of people stealing my thought I'll make arrangements to talk to you about it at a later date. If there's one thing you learn from having a father who's a world-class spy it's that potatoes only have eyes for you & the corn keeps its ears to the ground.


01 August 2005

diving for baloney

So P and I were sitting in the park across the road yesterday. We had our lunches with us, sort of like a picnic, only all we did was carry our sandwiches across the road and sit on a seat. We were there to watch dogs and get some air and for the middle of winter it was lovely.

So P says "Mortadella, that's like a fancy version of devon, isn't it?"
"Actually it's a fancy version of De von," I say, feigning a french accent, because we all know that devon is pig t&a I thought. "Did you know they call it Baloney in America?"
"No, I thought that was what they dived for."
"What, Abalone?"
"Yes, Baloney divers."



27 July 2005

packed lunch

Gold Coast, land of leathery-skinned oldies in skimpy bathers. Home of Cultural icons like 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' & 'Cocktails & Dreams'. Where a little girl can realise her dreams of becoming a gold bikini clad meter-maid or a young man can fulfill his fantasy of casual sex with numerous intoxicated young women during 'Schoolies' week. This is the land of possibilities & the very land I will have the joy of visiting for the next 5 days.

I should keep count of the number of amputees I see this time, it always seems to be more on the Gold Coast than other parts of Australia. I think they all retire up there after receiving their compo' payouts. I wonder if there's a devotee community too. Won't be posting while I'm away.

Christine, I think you should try & discover one new place in your neighbourhood. It should probably be a business of some kind & when you find it you should enter the business, approach an employee & ask in your best Long John Saliva voice if they've seen a parrot, arr.

So enjoy your weekend without me. I'll be back sooner than you know unless oyu know my arrival time.


26 July 2005

First prize banana

Well good luck on holidays and enjoy your birthday Ricky the kid.

In the meantime how will I amuse myself?

I'm up to 43 in my 100 things list. I'm watching 'Mon Oncle', I'm felting some really ordinary knitted slippers (in the never again basket), rearranging the furniture, thinking of a new story to write, wondering how to and if I should make a darkroom, watching the dogs across the street, wanting to go to Bitton, going out to a farewell party without my partner (who will be working) on Friday for our friend who is going away, updating the other websites for work, formatting the OH&S document for work and of course organising that conference for my other job (which will soon be over as you know).

But somehow I still feel like I need something to do. Richard give me some ideas! Make sure that pirates are incorporated. It's an order.